Family 911
by Laney 916
Summary: Sango and Miroku have difficulties raising their six out of control children and at the suggestion of Kagome, they decide to hire Nanny Kaede to help out. AU. Takes place in the modern era, in 2010. Sango/Miroku and Inuyasha/Kagome pairings, as well as Shippo/Rin friendship and Sesshomaru/Rin father/daughter relationships.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the first Inuyasha fic I've written in like eight years. I lost interest in the series, then when the Final Act came out, I started to watch it again. I thought about writing another fic for the fandom, but because of a lack of ideas, it never materialized until now. I was inspired to write this while watching Supernanny on UP channel, and I thought this would make an interesting story line. I have kept Sango and Miroku's twin girls and son in this, only they're much older now, and I've added more kids to their family. I can just see them with a huge family, given how Miroku is. XD_

_Warnings: Very strong language, much of it coming out the mouths (and hands!) of children and some from Inuyasha too, some violence, and mild sexual content._

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Summary - Sango and Miroku have difficulties raising their six out of control children and at the suggestion of Kagome, they decide to hire Nanny Kaede to help out. AU. Takes place in the modern era, in 2010. Sango/Miroku and Inuyasha/Kagome pairings, as well as Shippo/Rin friendship and Sesshomaru/Rin father/daughter relationships.

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**Family 911**

Chapter 1: Morning Mayhem

It was a bright, sunny Monday morning in early April, the first day of a brand new school year in Tokyo. Takahashi Miroku sat at the kitchen table reciting his prayers as his wife Sango proceeded to get their four oldest children out of bed.

Sango stepped up the stairs, the hardwood floor creaking beneath her feet as she went into the first bedroom. She quickly saw that the younger of her twin daughters, eleven-year-old Ruri was already up and dressed.

"Good morning, Mama." Ruri greeted.

"Good morning, Ruri. How long have you been awake?" Sango asked.

Ruri ran her brush through her shoulder length brown hair and pulled it into a half-ponytail as she answered, "Since around six."

Sango smiled. Ruri was her most responsible child, always waking up early and carefully going about her routine of getting dressed and doing her morning chores before she left for school. She enjoyed going to school, as she had quite a thirst for knowledge and excelled at her favorite subjects, Math and English. She and her twin, Kaiya were in their final year of Primary school now, and Ruri couldn't wait until she got to Junior High.

Kaiya was the outgoing one, in contrast to Ruri's slight shyness, though both had a lot of friends in and outside of school. Like her twin, she had chocolate brown eyes and dark brown hair, except that her hair was almost to her mid-back and she kept it down most of the time. Kaiya was a natural leader and was very good at giving advice. Her siblings all turned to her when they needed help with something. Her favorite subject was History, with Art a close second.

Sango gently called to Kaiya, who still slept soundly in her bed.

"Good morning, Kaiya."

"Go away." Kaiya grumbled groggily as she rose up and stretched her arms, a loud yawn escaping from her lips.

The preteen attitude sometimes frustrated her, but Sango ignored it, knowing that it was age appropriate and that Kaiya was not a morning person, but was generally well behaved.

She moved on to the next room where her two middle children, eight-year-old Benji and seven-year-old Hana, slept. She woke Benji, who, after a little nudge on the shoulder, got up and went to his dresser to choose his outfit, a red baseball t-shirt and tan cargo pants, but Hana would not budge.

Benji had always been an early riser like Ruri, though Hana would sleep all day if she could. He was the most athletic child of the family and enjoyed karate, soccer, and baseball, and was on the local baseball team.

Hana was the girly girl and the shyest child, particularly around people she didn't know. She never went to sleep without her favorite doll, and loved dancing and playing dress up and house.

"Hana, come on. You have to get ready for school. Please get up." Sango pleaded. No luck! The little girl could be very stubborn when she wanted to be.

"No!" she whined. "Let me sleep, damn it!"

"I'm not messing with you. I don't have time for this. Now get yourself dressed!" She let go of Hana for a moment, then she walked over to her dresser and picked out a pink t-shirt with a unicorn on it and a light blue skirt and went back over to her daughter and attempted once again to wake her up. "Miroku!" She called to her husband as she gently lifted Hana up and began to dress her.

"Yes, Dear! What do you need?" He called from downstairs.

"Can you please get Hiroshi and Mari ready?"

"Okay! I'll be up in a minute!"

Sango continued dressing the seven-year-old, but she was making it quite difficult by screaming 'No!' over and over while she tried to wriggle out of her mother's arms.

But Sango wasn't having it. It took about forty-five minutes, but she finally managed to get her dressed and brush her hair and teeth. It was seven fifteen by now, giving her only fifteen minutes to eat breakfast before they all had to leave.

* * *

At the breakfast table, Hana joined her siblings, but she was refusing to eat anything except for a bag of fried potato skins.

"Hana, can't you please pick something else for breakfast besides potato skins? How about a Pop Tart?" Miroku begged.

"No! I want Potato skins!" Three-year-old Hiroshi followed suit and soon he too refused to eat. Temper tantrums erupted from the two children and the older ones had to cover their ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise.

"Hana, Hiro, shut the fuck up, you god damn assholes!" Benji shouted at them, earning him glares of 'say that again and you're grounded.'

"Watch your mouth, young man!" Sango scolded.

"Sorry, Mom."

"Accepted. Now, Hana and Hiro, you are not having potato skins for breakfast. End of story." Hiroshi gave in and ate a small amount of dry cereal and drink a baby bottle of milk, but Hana stared her down as if she was ready to charge like a bull.

"Bitch!" she mumbled. Sango heard her, though, and gave her a firm smack.

"Don't you ever say that word again!"

"Then let me have them! I want them!"

"For the last time, you're not getting them. Your father and I said 'no', and we mean it." Eventually, Hana backed off and settled for a pack of strawberry Pop Tarts straight from the box.

* * *

Ruri was the first to finish her breakfast, which consisted of a cereal bar, an apple, and a cup of green tea with sugar, and she picked up her school bag and started walking toward the front door. She quickly turned back around with a questioning look on her face.

"Mom, Dad, may I go over to Uncle Yash and Aunt Kagome's place to hang out with them after school?"

Inuyasha and Kagome's daughter Kimiko was seven and in the same grade level as Hana and the two families were close friends. The children referred to Inuyasha and Kagome as their uncle and aunt and Kimiko as their cousin, and they often spent time at each other's homes.

"If it's alright with them, it's alright with us." Miroku answered. "Give them a call before you go over there, don't just stop there unannounced."

"Okay. I'll call them. Thanks Dad. I love you." she replied, embracing her father in a warm hug. "I love you, too, Mom."

"Love you, too." Her parents replied in unison. With that, Ruri took her leave.

"Wait for me, Ruri!" Kaiya shouted. "Bye, Mom and Dad! Later!" She waved and then she joined her twin and went off to school.

It was time for Sango to walk Benji and Hana to school as well, as she felt they were still too young to go on their own or make their older daughters feel obligated to do so, and she helped Hana with her backpack and shoes.

Mari wailed as Sango handed her off to Miroku so she could step out. Miroku pried the twenty-month-old's tiny fingers from her mother's hair and tried to sooth her.

"Shhh! It's okay. Mama will be back. She's just taking your brother and sister to school, then she'll come back and play with you. Go on, go see Hiro." He pointed to Hiroshi, who was playing with some of his favorite miniature race cars on the kitchen floor.

Mari calmed down and pointed as well, then she squirmed away from her father. She toddled to Hiroshi and flashed him a toothy smile and he laughed, handing her two of his cars, and Sango was able to leave without further incident.

After his wife left, Miroku sat down next to his son and daughter and played with them. Once he was sure they were occupied, he stepped away, grabbed his laptop from the living room, and returned to the table to work.

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_This chapter is a little short, but I'll try to make the next one longer. Hope you like it!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Family 911**

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Chapter 2: More Chaos

As the day went on, things did not get any better. To Sango and Miroku's dismay, they got worse. Hana and Benji had gotten sent home from school for punching and kicking another child during recess, with a note from the Principal stating that they were suspended for three days. They claimed that the other child started it and that they had acted in self-defense, but the school had a very strict rule about fighting and all three were suspended.

Sango had sent the children to their room to reflect on their behavior, though they didn't sit there quietly. They decided it was time for playing video games instead, so their mother removed the TV and their Nintendo game console from the room and they finished the time out.

By then, it was lunch time and Sango had to go to her martial arts studio to prepare for that day's classes, leaving Miroku in charge.

"Hana, Benji, go wash your hands and sit down at the table and eat." He instructed as he washed Hiroshi and Mari's hands and set them up in their booster seats, then he put a pot of yakisoba at the center of the table and scooped it into bowls. Benji joined his youngest siblings and ate his food, but Hana wasn't having any of it.

"Papa, I don't want this."

"What do you want, then?"

"Candy."

"No. Pick something else, please."

"I want candy!" Hana stomped her feet and screamed for over an hour until her voice was hoarse, but Miroku remained firm, not giving in to her tantrum.

"Now, are you going to eat, or are you going hungry until dinner time?"

The seven-year-old finally chose to eat, but she wouldn't touch what her father had just made and had another request. "Can I just have some rice by itself?"

"Okay." So, Miroku heated up a bowl of rice and while Hana was eating, he put Hiro and Mari down for a nap.

* * *

A few hours later, Kaiya returned from school and ate a piece of fruit for a snack and sat at the desk in her and Ruri's room and started her homework. Ruri had gone to Kagome and Inuyasha's house, promising to be home before dinner. Kaiya had brought Benji and Hana's homework home with her as well, and handed it to Miroku.

"Homework time!" He announced. At first, Benji and Hana did their homework with no complaints, but when Miroku asked Benji to correct some mistakes on his math worksheets, he refused.

"I don't want to. I'll do it later."

"You'll do it now, Benji. Come on, let's just get it over with. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can play."

"Help me with it!" Benji demanded. Miroku shot him a glare.

"Is that how we ask?"

"Yes!"

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is!" The eight-year-old argued back with his lips in a pout.

"I told you, if you want something, you ask me or your mother properly. We will not listen to you if you're rude and disrespectful."

"Forget it! I'll just get Kaiya to help. You're too mean!" With that, he stormed off and went to his oldest sisters' room and Kaiya had been none too pleased that her brother entered without knocking first.

"Ben, not now. I'm busy. I'm doing my homework." She snapped.

"Please help me with mine too, Kaiya."

"Why can't you get Dad to help you?"

"Because he's a big meanie!"

"Fine, I'll help you, but I will not do it all for you, and stop calling Mom and Dad names."

"Okay. I will." Kaiya put her pencil down and turned her attention to her brother's homework. She explained why his wrong answers were wrong and patiently showed him how to fix his mistakes, and he listened to her and managed to get it done. "Thanks Kaiya." He said politely, and he put his homework back into his school bag.

"You're welcome. Next time, you should knock and make sure that whether it's okay or not before you come in here though, and I think you should apologize to Dad. He was only trying to help."

"You're right. I'll go say 'sorry' to him now then."

"Good. Can you please close the door when you leave." Benji did so, and he walked back downstairs and apologized, then he received a consequence for his disrespectful attitude. He would be required to go to bed an hour earlier for the rest of the week.

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A few days later, Sango and Miroku were at the Higurashi shrine, sitting at the kitchen table with Inuyasha and Kagome talking as the older children played out front and Mari played in her portable playpen on the living room floor. Sango and Miroku had told their friends about their parenting troubles and the four of them were in a discussion about how to address the problems.

"Their behavior is out of control. We don't know what to do about it anymore." Miroku reported, sighing deeply.

"Children need boundaries. You need to teach them that it's not okay to behave the way they do and that there are consequences for their actions." Kagome advised as she took another sip of her tea.

"Feh, what they need is a good old slap on the ass."

"Inuyasha, spanking sends them the wrong message. It teaches them that it's acceptable to hit and they may become aggressive, or they learn to be fearful."

"Whatever, Kagome!"

"We've tried time outs, we've tried taking their video games away from them, but they don't listen." Sango added onto what her husband had said. This gave Kagome an idea and the raven haired girl grinned inwardly at her thought.

"Contact Amuro Kaede-sama. She may be able to help you." She suggested and pulled a piece of paper from her purse, handing it to her best friend. On it was a neatly written name and phone number.

"Who is she?" Miroku wondered.

"She's an old friend of Grandpa's, a former nanny."

"Old? More like ancient and senile." Sango and Miroku cringed as they saw their friend shoot a devilish glare at the hanyou.

"Inuyasha, SIT BOY!" Inuyasha's necklace began to glow and he crashed into the floor, mumbling a string of curse words.

"Goddamn it! That hurt, you bitch!"

"SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!"

"Owww fuck!" Kagome eventually calmed down and Inuyasha painfully sat back up, turning his back away from his wife and he made the choice to avoid her for the time being.

"Thanks Kagome. We'll give Amuro-sama a call tonight."

"My pleasure, Sango."

* * *

They changed the subject and continued conversing, until they were interrupted by Kimiko, who was crying and held a hand on the right side of her head, drops of blood leaking through her fingers and landing on the floor.

"Kimi, what happened?" Kagome worried and went over to her daughter to tend to her.

"Hiro hit me in the head with the baseball bat." The little girl responded between sobs. Sango groaned and ran outside to deal with her youngest son, while Kagome picked up her child and took her to get checked out.

"Inuyasha, can you get me the first aid kit from the cabinet under the bathroom sink?" Inuyasha looked up from the bag of potato chips he was munching on and nodded, then he sprinted to the bathroom and returned with a wooden case marked with a red cross and the words _'First Aid Kit'_ written in kanji on top.

"Thanks." She praised. She opened the kit and applied a small amount of antiseptic wash onto a clean cloth and dabbed it on the wound. Kimiko cried out in pain and terror. "Oh man, this doesn't look good."

"What is it, Kagome?" Inuyasha's concerned voice asked.

"We need to take her to the hospital. She may need stitches or she could have a skull fracture."

"Right. I'll call an ambulance and tell Sango and Miroku what's going on. You stay with Kimi." Inuyasha would have liked to take her to the hospital himself with his hanyou speed, but he knew it would be safer to leave it up to the Paramedics, for fear of further injury.

Kagome waited with Kimiko as Inuyasha called 119, the number for the ambulance and fire department and informed the others of the situation.

The Paramedics arrived within minutes and assessed Kimiko's injury, then they carefully put her on a stretcher and her anxious, frightened parents walked behind her as she was carried to the waiting ambulance. Kagome rode with her on the way to the nearest Emergency Room with Inuyasha and Sango, Miroku, and their children following close behind in separate cars.

* * *

That night, Sango and Miroku returned from the hospital and had a talk with Hiro about hitting other people and reminded him to be more careful and that he had to apologize to Kimiko the next morning. It had been an accident and thankfully, Kimiko was alright. Her injury hadn't been too severe, only a mild concussion and she required nine stitches, and would make a full recovery.

Miroku was getting the younger kids to bed and the twins were in their room, doing some last minute studying, and Sango took Kagome up on her suggestion and picked up the phone to dial Kaede's number.

* * *

_That's all for now. I'll introduce Kaede in the next chapter. 119 is the emergency number for the ambulance and fire department in Japan, by the way, instead of 911 in the US, but for the police, they dial 110._


	3. Author's Note

Hi! Please forgive me for not updating anything since like forever. lol First of all, my laptop crapped out on me, so I'm using a very old desktop computer which is kind of slow and a pain in the ass.

On top of that, I've had major writing issues. I have a ton of random ideas in my head as well as ideas some of you guys have suggested to me, but when it comes to actually writing them, it's like my brain goes totally blank. I just can't think of the words or how to phrase anything. The plot bunnies have been slamming me lately though. I swear, they're bugging me to write a Jem and the Holograms fic. I haven't even seen many episodes of that series yet, only a few here and there when my brother watches the reruns on TV, but who knows. Maybe I'll attempt one when I'm able to get back on track with my existing stuff. XD

I've also been busy in my personal life. I am still focusing on trying to get a job, and I'm in the middle of getting ready to go to college this Fall.

I plan on finishing my fics for my faithful readers though. I haven't given up on them. Thank you for all your amazing reviews and for being patient. Much appreciated!

Take care! Hopefully I'll write a real update soon.


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